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How can I identify infidelity?

Among the many things that can go wrong during the course of a marriage, infidelity ranks among the worst. Most spouses are unable to bounce back after the other has cheated, which can mean that divorce is looming right around the corner. While the following information isn’t definitive proof of a cheating spouse, Psychology Today has compiled some common signs of cheating.

Sudden secrecy

Most married couples are completely open with one another, to the point where they may even share passwords for devices. Discovering that your partner’s device is suddenly on lockdown and inaccessible to you can come as quite a shock in this case. A cheating spouse will password-protect devices and delete browsing history to prevent their actions from being discovered by the other person. While there may be a legitimate reason for the sudden boost in security, your spouse should still be forthcoming about what’s going.

Changes in intimacy

While it’s true that an affair can lead to less intimacy between a married couple, the opposite may also be true. A person can sometimes feel renewed by an affair, which leads to increased physical intimacy at home. Additionally, emotional intimacy is often lacking despite the physical dynamic. A cheating spouse usually has little interest in connecting emotionally with his or her partner, despite any pleas to do so. A person may also behave negatively or hostilely for no real reason as an attempt to lash out at the marriage.

Financial trouble

Courting can be expensive. If you and your spouse are on a tight budget and you start seeing unexplained charges or receipts from fancy restaurants, of course you’re going to be concerned. You may even ask questions about these expenses, in which case you’re likely to receive lies and misdirection. In fact, many unfaithful spouses attempt to turn the subject around onto their partner as a means of relieving guilt.


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