When you had children, one of your goals was to spend all of your holidays with them. When you were growing up, the holidays were very important to your family. Being married to your children’s other parent made it easy for you to share multiple holidays together. If there was any kind of conflict due to the timing of a Christmas party or Thanksgiving dinner, you could either split up or spend a little time at each person’s home.

Once you got a divorce, you realized how much more difficult it would be to coordinate the holidays. Instead of having your children with you for each holiday, you now had to split time with the other parent. Even though you want to have your children on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas and on other holidays, it isn’t always possible because of the way your custody agreement arranges your time.

It is important that you get to spend a little bit of time on each holiday with your children. What can you do to make that happen? Here are a few ideas.

1. Speak to the other parent about the importance of holidays in your life

The first thing that you should do is discuss with the other parent how important holidays are to you. They may not be as interested in having your children with them during certain holidays as you are. For example, Thanksgiving may be a very important holiday in your family but not be very important to theirs.

2. Talk about a rotating schedule

It doesn’t feel good to miss a holiday with your children, and the reality is that both parents probably want some time with their children during the holidays. Talk about setting up a rotating custody schedule. For example, you may have your children for Christmas this year in exchange for letting them stay with the other parent on Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving. Next year, you could reverse the custody arrangements so that you have your children on Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving instead.

3. Set up alternative holiday dates

Some families don’t celebrate the holidays on the day. For instance, your family might have a Christmas party on the 28th of December instead of the 25th. Having multiple celebrations makes it easier for your kids to participate in holidays with both families.

These are a few ideas that could help you share the holidays with your children, even though you’re divorced. With good planning, it is possible to work something out.